Dear 17-Year-Old Me...

My cousin posted a letter to himself... One of those "advice to hold you over for the future" Here is my take on that.


Dear Jessica,

You are just 17, and struggling. I will let you know, that in ten years, you learn so much more about yourself and life.

That anxiety issue you have? Good news, it is manageable. It is no longer crippling, leaving you lifeless, breathless, and sobbing on the floor.
It is all school.
Since you graduate (and yes, you graduate, which you already knew you would... But there are hiccups later on in your senior year.) the panic attacks you have can be counted on one hand...
You become terrified of sleep, but overcome that fear as the nightmares end.

I have good news also, you are out of your mother's house. You're free. But the downside.. You always move too fast (instant gratification maybe?) you're struggling, but overall happier than you thought possible.

Yes, I've read those notebooks.
You write with more substance, as you experience more in life.
You try to find things to focus on, as you grow older. You get better at baking, cooking, music, and even meeting people.
Yes, you become easier in social situations.
You learn to like a whole new world of possibilities.
Music, Painting, Sewing (yeah sewing) Costuming, going to Conventions (you nerd)
You have learned to embrace you, for you. (while you still may hate it)

And after heartbreak, you find someone who can put you together, and help make you whole.
You can be alone, without fears. You sleep better at night with him by your side.

You still dye your hair in summer, and cut it in the fall.
You maintain a lot of your childish sides.  And you know that you are accepted by at least one other person.

You are free. You are on your own, and you are alive. You make enough money to support yourself. You may struggle, but you are still doing it.

The sad news is that you lose your father, but you grow and learn from it.
Your strained relationship with your mother becomes more, until you find a way to break free.

You're engaged! You finally found someone who makes you laugh, smile, and feel loved.